Potato Jesus

In a conversation Carol (my girlfriend) and I had a long time ago, we decided that things would be far better than they are now if Jesus had been a potato instead of a human being. For one, potatoes cannot be crucified; they lack the proper limbs and are not prone to bleeding. Second, it would make transubstantiation, the belief that the wafers and Dollar Store wine at communion actually turn into the real body and blood of Christ, a lot less creepy - people eat potatoes, not other people. Speaking of communion, it would be far better with a potato as Jesus, since the body and blood would more or less be vodka and potato chips.

The only forseeable consequence is the near extinction of Irish Catholics, who would abandon their faith during the Irish Potato Famine. Seems like a small price to pay, though, for the spud messiah. Thoughts?

Announcement

Nothing, absolutely nothing, can upstage the naked metal wolf. Nothing. That is all.

Topical Insanity

Today, a Pop-Tart attempted to set my car on fire. The rogue breakfast food (strawberry, in case you want to avoid delicious arsonists) had been sitting in my car for several days for altogether fuzzy reasons, and it was during my lunch break at work that I decided to head out to the car and rid myself of the tasty nuisance. When I opened the packet, I was shocked to discover that it looked as though the Pop-Tarts had somehow gotten into a toaster without exiting their wrapper. They were practically burnt, black at the edges and mildly crispy.

I know it was most likely the sun that caused this, considering the shiny wrapper and the exposure to the sun, but that is still the very last thing I would ever expect to set my car on fire. If it had, I would never find out - who would ever expect a Pop-Tart to be the culprit? Does car insurance cover that? Has it ever happened before? If it has, I'm guessing that it was never discovered. Be wary of leaving your Pop-Tarts unattended - to remedy this, I recommend immediate consumption.

Title of the Post - Explanation of the Title of the Blog

Train Shank - it lives! Imagine a train with a knife taped to it. If you fatally encounter such a thing, were you hit by a train or stabbed? Both? Neither? Some unheard of fifth option? It can only be called train shank, and the confusion and mild insanity that random conversations with friends often leads to is what I hope to share on this blog.

Whenever I get around to it I'll be sure to add strange stories and conversations, both past and present (and future, if that somehow becomes possible), sure to either entertain you or cause you to lose faith in humanity. Share and enjoy!